I am tired. I am angry. I am numb.
For three plus years, I was on the email team. WAS. I am now undergoing training, along with ten other team mates, for a different LOB. WWTE. Hay, karma karma karma chameleon.
My "favorite" agent was from this team. I remember waiting for her to give me more material for an article in this blog. Her famous "we are operating a standard procedure" line made me smile even on my darkest hours. Now, I will be on the same team.
We had a meeting on the 24th and this was when Jobel announced the movement from email to wwte. I was hoping and praying that the stats used to determine the agents for the movement will be the last three months stats. If this was the case, I hopefully had a chance to stay on my beloved team. But if they used either the annual appraisal, or an average from 2008, I had no chance. My average rating was an S. Not that I didnt know what I was doing, I knew the ins and outs of how the email team works. I am knowledgeable in client specs, especially my favorite queue - WWTE. But I did NOT want to take WWTE calls.
Jobel anounced the names by rank for the GY team. Cris, Gi, Ianne, Shayne, Kit, Philline. Damn. Neri was crying. Ianne and Shayne were too. I wanted to scream. At that time, I thought, ITS TIME. Its time to say goodbye to this company. They downgraded our Maxicare plan, they make us go to our stations with only a 3"X6" pouch in hand (how can you fit the following in a 3"X6" pouch: loose powder, compact mirror, comb, 2 tubes of lipstick, lipgloss, eyeliner, blusher, wallet and VS body spray). They do not have competitive incentives and salaries. They have managers who seemingly manipulate stats to make favorites or lovers look good. They will charge you 5K if you lose your headset, but do not take measures to prevent headsets from being stolen from your work station. Etcera blah blah blah.
Our manager was lurking outside the meeting room and went in just as I was asking Jobel "what if all ten agents resign?". His response was, resignation is not an option. This was when he went in to explain what set of stats were used in the movement, how this was something he fought, how he did not want to let us go. At this point, I was not hearing anything. I wanted to give him the "dead air" spiel. I was asking questions in the way they entered my mind...jumbled. I was not making sense. I just had to say someting. I had to show him that I was hurt. I had to speak in behalf of Shayne and Ianne who were sobbing freely. I knew at that time that nothing more could be done. I was going to be transferred and I WILL be taking calls again. I wanted to say " P****a! mas magaling ako di hamak kay Cherfer, pero maiiwan sya? Sa akin pa nagtatanong ng irereply si Chuva pero maiiwan sya? May utak ba kayo?" But I also knew that my stats said it all. I became too relaxed for 2008 and ended up having mediocre stats. shit.
Before the meeting, I have replied to 55 emails already. Since our quota was to hit at least 8 emails per hour, I figured I just needed 25 more and I was set. I had plenty of time to spare, around three hours. After the meeting, I sent my logs to Jobel with a total of 56 emails replied. I had no more desire to reply to emails. I did not have the energy.
Mars 1 and Mars 2, as well as Shayne, were seriously contemplating on how many days notice to give. 15 or 30? Immediate resignation? They were as appalled at taking calls as I was. Mars1 and her child Gavin could very well be provided for my her family. Mars2, being a member of a jewelry-magnate family (suarez wedding rings and suarez and sons), will very well survive without a job. Shayne, the newly licensed nurse of the email team, has more job options open to her now that theres an RN after her name. If Kit wanted to resign, his finances would not suffer too much. His family owns a manning agency and I know it is a lucrative business.
If I didnt have a family, I could very well have walked out from that meeting room and sent my resignation via email the following day. But since Koko, Kiko and I will not survive on the shops earnings alone, I figured I could not afford to be a bitch. I could give a 30-day notice, which will leave me ample time to get a new job. But then, it would not ease the pain. What hurt me the most is that after almost four years in this company, I might have no choice but to resign. What a stupid reason to resign - I didnt want to take calls. But I really am tempted to be stupid.
Training started last Monday. We basically tackled an overview of wwte. I felt sleepy. I kept on dozing off. I wanted to go home and sleep beside Kiko and Koko. I wanted to be replying to emails, not listening to "what is wwte" bull. I wanted to be in the 5th floor, copying and pasting from my templates to the ExpeRT page. I wanted to be able to turn to my seatmate, whether it be Jules, Nikki, Shayne or Red, and say ITS TIME. I wanted to enjoy seeing my docs multi colored docs page for logs which had a reminder "hit at least 60, dont forget your quality" (I never changed it from when we had to reply to only 6 emails per hour).
Last night, our conversion class double-jacked with the GY team and this was when it hit me. I really was going to be part of this team. Bebeh (mr manubay), assured me even before training that he would not leave me to fend for myself. He said he would take care of me and my other team mates. I learned that not all agents were as savvy when it came to "making palusot" to customers. Some did not have the "skill" to make an airline change fee sound like chocolate dipped strawberries to the customer. One agent did not even know what to advise the customer since the PNR she pulled up was already "purged". The fare rules could not be competely viewed. She kept on looking at the historical notes and went back to the caller stating that there will be a $200 change fee for the flights. This made my ears and heart hurt more.
I may never get over this movement. I may simply walk away from everything, taking Kiko, Koko, Nina, Blu and Lora to the mountains and live on boiled kamote. Or I may simply polish up my skills in tuning up motorcycles so I could simply help Kiko out with the shop. Life would be greasy and dirty but we might manage to scrape off a decent living as a tandem for the KIKStart Shop. But then, the image of Koko and Nina writing "motorcycle mechanic" on "Mother's Occupation" popped into my head. I did not want that for my kids.
My only source of happiness these days are Nina, Kiko and Koko. They make me forget my work worries. Sometimes they also provide more head aches than work gives me, but I love them. I only hope that God will give us all enough strength to overcome whatever is in store.